Profile

erasetoforget: (bluebells)

erasetoforget's Journal

Free Account

Created on 2011-12-22 07:55:33 (#1186923), last updated 2012-03-18 (288 weeks ago)

13 comments received, 841 comments posted

29 Journal Entries, 14 Tags, 0 Memories, 250 Icons

View extended profile

Name:Yoite
Birthdate:Dec 26
A Reader's Guide on How Not to Be Killed by Yoite


Rule #1 : NEVER touch the Miharu.
This rule cannot be stressed enough. When in Yoite's presence, aura, field of vision, consciousness, or general world sphere you must NEVER touch, speak too directly to, or worst of all (and we're warning you Raikou) flirt with the Miharu.

One must at all times keep a designated distance from the Miharu (to be determined by Yoite given the time of day, setting, and person's criminal record.)

Once again. Miharu + You = No.

*warning : this rule may be enforced by extremely painful death inflicted by Kira.

Photobucket


Rule #2 : Never touch Yoite
Only certain people can get away with this, do not assume you are one of them. Unless your name begins with an M and ends with a U and those letters are directly connected by "ihar" most likely you are not a person with permission to touch Yoite. Sorry, but no.

Remember kids, it may look cute, but wild animals are not pets. Its best to leave them be.

*warning : failure to comply with this rule may lead to a panicked Yoite who will then either a) flee (if you're lucky) or b) give to the Kira-ing of your life...or... death I suppose.

Photobucket


Rule #3 : Yoite's Mind is OFF LIMITS
If you happen to be gifted with the powers of mind-control or mind-reading well good for you. Give yourself a nice pat on the back. But heed this warning. Such powers can be dangerous when dealing with extremely volatile and mind-fuckable brains. Yoite is one of these. Whilst that crazy glint in his eye and his habit of hiding in alleyways might make him a tempting subject for experimentation (if it does there is something extremely wrong with you)trust us when we say that unless you have a death wish ITS NOT WORTH IT. For you see, Yoite's mind is a metaphorical Pandora's box and when its open SHIT HAPPENS.

*warning : If this rule is ignored, kira-ing WILL BE INVOLVED. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Photobucket


Rule #4 : Always Have Food (Preferably Sweets) Close at Hand
Yoite may be wild and dangerous, but he is almost always hungry and if there is any chance at all the you might possibly seduce him, it is with food (or with a Miharu, but we doubt you carry a Miharu Rokujo on your person as all times).

How to Present the Food to Yoite without Threatening Him : Do not approach Yoite until you have proven that you have food in hand. Hold it in front of you and only after Yoite has acknowledged your offering step forward slowly. Then, when still a few paces away from him, set it down and run away as fast as possible. It may not be dignified, but the system works (most of the time.) * For a list of Yoite-approved food contact our Yoite-feeding expert, Meguro Gau.

Photobucket




Alright, So You are a Lucky Bastard Who Survived a Kira-ing, What do You do Now?
#1 : We suggest thank your god or personal savior copiously for not letting Yoite shred your ass to pieces.
#2 : If you are unharmed, go home, take this as a lesson, and never go within kira-range of Yoite ever again. (as exact range of kira has yet to be determined, we suggest simply never being in the same area as Yoite again, just to be safe.)
#3 : If you are wounded, please make your way to the kira-ward of the Fuma Village Infirmary, and they will be happy to help you.

Photobucket



What to Do if You Happen to Find Yoite Lying Unconcious on the Street


Photobucket

First and foremost remain calm, unlike a wasp, Yoite cannot hurt you whilst unconscious. Or at least... we think he can't.

Anyway, there is a very standard protocol to follow for such a situation :

Whilst obeying rule #2 check to see if Yoite is still breathing. Directly after this, check to see if all his limbs are accounted for as possible limb-turning-into-dustage may have occurred in which case you have far less time to retrieve help. If there is no missing limbs, simply contact pinky-err Shimizu Raikou or his lover-err assistant Meguro Gau and they will take care of the problem. If limb-to-dustage has occurred please try to locate the nearest god or shinrabansho. If neither can be located, resort to contacting Shimizu Raikou and Meguro Gau.


Thank you for your cooperation!

**If you have any further questions please contact either the offices of Shimizu Raikou or your local Kairoshu outpost and we'll be happy to assist you**


~This Public Service Message Has Been Paid for By the Department for Kira Studies, a non-profit affiliate of the Kairoshu Corporation~




People [View Entries]
Communities [View entries]
Feeds [View Entries]
To link to this user, copy this code:
On Dreamwidth:
Elsewhere: